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“Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!”Isaiah 5:20 KJV
I have been in the midst of unloading a burden, and sending out a warning of wrongdoing, in these recent posts:
After these disclosures, it’s apparent that the Christian minister who molested me and encouraged me to continue in this sin with him for a period of YEARS has shown no real remorse–just a bunch of excuses and admonitions to others who are involved in “vice” not to tell others about it.
Hmmmm… I wonder who that serves…
He’s telling men not to tell their wives (to get “sympathy”) if they have cheated on their spouse and committed ADULTERY!
Now, in fairness, I can see that a bad woman can use this information to destroy a man. But a good woman will forgive, so his blanket instruction is careless at best.
In this case, I disclosed my sexual sin to my wife and son. It was essentially a confession to my wife–that what we did was WRONG–damaging the sanctity of the “bonds” of my marriage! And it was a warning to my son not to get involved with this charismatic–yet evil–minister.
And after coming clean about my sin, my family is closer than ever–we are healing, thank God!
A sinner can be as secretive as he wishes, but that sin is SPIRITUAL, and one way or another it will work itself through the family. This happened in my family, as I explained in Sexual MOLESTATION–The Secret CRIME, and I know that this same thing has happened within the “family” of this minister (some of those who surround him).
It may explain why my disclosures have been met with general silence from this “family.” I’m not bitter toward them–in fact, I understand the subtle intimidation that causes them to remain silent. And perhaps their confusion–knowing about wrong but excusing it like he does, because “he does so much ‘good.'”
In the Sexual MOLESTATION… post, I linked to an article that explains How Cult Leaders Use Sex to Control Followers.
Related to this article is another one: 12 Characteristics of a Cult Leader. It’s fascinating that the minister who molested me, and who encouraged me to continue a sexual relationship with him over a period of years—exhibits every one of these traits–some of them subtle, yet nevertheless they are there.
This minister scoffs at the notion that he is a cult leader, saying that he doesn’t even know how to brainwash people. HE likely does not know–but the Devil working through him knows exactly how to do it. These “characteristics” are commonalities–they represent a common spirit that works through all cult leaders.
Is the term “cult leader” too strong? Consider that–all claims to the contrary–a cult leader subtly makes HIMSELF the mediator between us and God, thereby replacing God’s son–our Savior, Jesus Christ.
A cult leader–while saying that people should go to God with their issues–keeps a busy counseling schedule and hosts a church service where people are encouraged to come to him to ask questions and seek advice.
Some of that advice is flat out wrong and dangerous as I’ve pointed out.
The vast majority of the advice this minister hands out would be unnecessary if counselees and congregants simply meditated and prayed with an earnest heart, and perhaps picked up a Bible once in a while.
I have told this minister that he is obsessed with being the “teacher”–the “corrector.” In fact, I learned the hard way that confronting him about his wrongs resulted in denials, and in him “flipping the script”–rejecting any serious correction while calling me “angry” for bringing up truth.
This goes on regularly with this minister. He seeks to discredit anyone who comes forward with any truth as being “angry” and therefore worthy of being dismissed.
He is an expert at playing the “anger” game. It goes like this: He pushes the buttons of those who challenge him. If he can succeed at getting them angry, he puts the focus on THAT, and not the substance of what they said. The outsider sees this exchange, and it appears that he is the “right” one, and they are wrong. It’s quite slick, and most may never notice it.
All manipulators know how to push the “right” emotional buttons to achieve their desired outcome, and to appear “good.”
This minister shows the outward appearance of calm. Is it real? I’ve come to see it more as something dead inside him. Dead people are indeed calm!
The (dead) giveaway is the eyes–do they show light or death? I urge those around him to look closely.
This minister has made a career out of taking the philosophy and even word phrases from another (now deceased) minister–without credit–and making them his own. I realized at some point that it was almost like a magic trick.
I’m not saying that the minister has no wisdom or insights of his own–I believe he does. God gives us all gifts. But I’ve noticed that where once I saw some innocence, I now see more and more corruption.
The learned knowledge is also getting more apparent–a virtual tape loop of the same points and phrases being repeated over and over. It’s noticeable to many.
Along the way I’ve noticed other negative traits–for instance, he lies habitually. I used to attribute it to him being “wise,” but it goes beyond that. He’s also unnecessarily cruel at times.
When you are conditioned to see someone a certain way, you are likely to excuse just about anything they do.
Despite what I’ve described (and I am not the only congregant / associate to accuse him of sexual sin), this minister claims he does not sin–he cleverly defines the primary sin as anger, and says that God will work our “vices” out of us once our heart is “clean.”
I agree that anger is a primary sin–but as I noted in the When All Goes SILENT… article, 1 Corinthians 6:18 plainly states…
“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” (KJV)
Now I know that this minister has Bible passages read in his church that supposedly justify his sin (i.e.: Paul had a “thorn” in his side–possibly a sexual issue, but what matters is the heart, etc., etc.), but I challenge him to have 1 Corinthians 6:18 (or other scripture that speaks of the seriousness of sexual sin) read in his church. There are many passages in the Bible, actually, that speak to this.
I’ll wait patiently…
Our bodies are temples of God’s spirit. I’ve posted regarding being molested as a boy, and of my experiences with illicit sex afterwards. Defiling God’s temple seems pretty high up on the sin list!
Homosexual sex (or even sex outside of marriage) is not just some “vice” as this minister has said. It is evil and used as a doorway to deeper evil–to corrupting and even destroying the human spirit. Sex traffickers, Satanists… and cult leaders… know this, and use it for evil purposes.
Yes, this minister has told his congregation that God will work our “vices” out of us, once our hearts are clean. As I pointed out in When All Goes SILENT…, that may SOUND good, but in practice it means to him that it’s apparently okay to “work out your vices” with a married man–thereby attempting (the Devil in him) to drive a stake through the heart of that marriage and family.
Where’s the “love” in that?
There have been a number of broken marriages around this minister, and someone close to him has said, “If you want your marriage to last, don’t hang around [this minister].” This phenomenon is corroborated in 12 Characteristics of a Cult Leader.
So here is the kicker: the reason that I CONTINUED in sexual sin with this minister for a period of years is twofold:
#1: The minister convinced me that once I engaged in this act with him, I was “born again”! (I’ll explain below)
#2: I used this religious cover he provided as an excuse to indulge my perverse sexual appetite.
Am I really saying that this minister said that after having deviant sex with him I was “born again”?
Yes, he did say it.
Now, in fairness to him, I did FEEL a sense of freedom after performing sexual acts with him. I felt like I was walking on air, and the feeling stayed with me for a period of weeks.
I realize now that there is always the real, and next to it is the counterfeit.
What I felt was a sense of relief that the sexual identity / attraction that had grown in me after I was molested by a neighbor (another boy) was something I was no longer HIDING–SUPPRESSING.
I am sure that this is the same feeling that many homosexuals feel after their first “consensual” encounter (which often occurs sometime after they have been molested).
I now know that a sense of relief from suppression is not the same as being “born again.”
This was a LIE that kept me in sin. The minister knew how important it was for me to find spiritual freedom, and consciously or unconsciously played this card for all it was worth.
If this minister truly believes that having deviant sex with a member of his congregation is great therapy, then perhaps he should advertise this as a service he can provide in private counseling!
At some point I began to question the minister about our illicit sexual relationship. I’d say, “I can see that perhaps the first time (we had sex) had some value in getting me to be honest about what was inside of me (a post-molestation attraction to having sex with men), but what about all these other times?”
The minister had no answer for this, and I should have stopped then and there.
In fact, I finally did stop it. I told the minister I did not want to engage in this activity any more. Apparently, he thought I really didn’t mean it, and that I was playing some kind of game, so one day, while talking to him in his bedroom (big mistake!), he tried to force himself sexually on me, and I stuck my arm straight out–grabbing him by the throat and thus stopping his advance. I got out of there quickly.
While driving away on the main street, I got a call from him–he was furious, telling me to, “Never do that to me again!” He paused, thought better of continuing the tirade, and calmly ended the conversation.
From that point on, I knew that I had to leave, and I began to make plans to do so. Months later, I was out of there.
Continuing the “friendship”
After that time, I was angry with this minister, but continued our “friendship” from a distance. I would go back and forth in my mind–knowing all along what he had done, and alternately feeling angry about it and sometimes blaming myself only, and excusing his behavior.
I’d also rationalize what I knew and felt against the “good” that he was doing.
This went on for some time. After a while, I realized that whatever “good” he was doing was likely being eclipsed by things he was doing that were not good.
At some point, I confronted him–actually several times–to get all off my chest that I could.
And once I saw him making inroads with my son, I decided at that point to confront him directly about our illicit sexual relationship. I did not want to take the chance that this minister would spread his corruption any further in my family.
My son didn’t believe my accusation against the minister at first (he’d fallen for the hype that the minister was somehow “perfect”) and wanted to hear my accusation for himself, so I confronted the minister with my son present–and then with both my son and wife present.
Since then, little pieces have fit themselves together. What I mean is that, sometimes you will see something about someone that does not make sense–it is something that does not match what you think you know about them.
When you see one thing, you can easily dismiss it. But then you see something else. And then someone else comes forward with something similar. After a while, it’s like a quilt–and the true story emerges.
That’s what this situation has turned into.
I now believe that much of what I thought was real about this minister is actually a “scam.”
And that the “sins of the father” that I wrote about in Sexual MOLESTATION–The Secret CRIME–and which worked to try to destroy my family growing up, have been at work within me too.
I’d spoken of my father neglecting his duty to be the “head of his wife and family.” And of my mother having her own history of being abused by a clergy member she’d put her trust in, and by others.
I have lived the same life–not having a relationship with my father, and being angry with my mother for her over-protectiveness–which was brought on by the lack of guidance my father provided her.
I too trusted authority figures more than myself, having little inner confidence. And I–as well as my family–paid the price for that.
I have no knowledge that this minister is currently engaged in illicit sex with any congregant or associate. I simply do not know at this point.
I tell my story as a warning to this minister: You are being watched, so watch what you do.
And to those whom he may have harmed in one form or another–you are not alone. And you are not crazy. Those who wield power tend to misuse it, unless they are very grounded. Despite his claims to the contrary, and despite the illusions many of his followers apparently continue to hold, this minister is not morally grounded.
He is a sinner–like the rest of us. And from what I see–an unrepentant one. He has no business attempting to “teach” others how to live–he needs to get right with God, and actually show others how to live–without any more fakery or misdirection.
If this minister truly seeks to help others, he must reject his current course. I do not think he actually realizes what he is doing, as I’m now convinced that Satan has a hold of him, and Satan is the Great Deceiver.
As for me, as I’ve said, I take full responsibility for my part in all of this. I’ve come clean–with God and my family. Thankfully, they have forgiven my shortcomings.
Most importantly, I believe God has forgiven me too.
This is a true blessing!
I urge others to truly examine their hearts, and allow God to guide them toward right living. He will do it if they ask.
There’s nothing like living an honest life!
P.S. This–hopefully–is the last I need to post regarding this individual. I’ve said what I need to say, and am ready to move on. I hope this has been a useful warning to you.
Patrick Rooney is the Founder of OldSchoolUs.com. He communicates clearly and fearlessly during perilous times about natural health, success, and freedom. To reach Patrick, email him at [email protected].
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