When All Goes SILENT (After Disclosing SEXUAL CRIME)

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Recently I decided to get something off my chest that had been eating me for a long time (Sexual MOLESTATION–The Secret CRIME).

What I didn’t fully realize when I wrote it was that this crime is secret for a reason: It’s not just the secret of the “victim” or “perpetrator,” it’s also secret because once exposed, few want to acknowledge it.

In effect, all goes silent.

Note: When I say “crime,” I am not necessarily referring to a legal crime–what I disclosed about my adult experiences with molestation were not legal crimes–but they were moral crimes.

Once disclosed, the perpetrator and their accomplices will either ignore it, or if it is something that they can no longer sidestep, they will use excuses or thinly-veiled attacks in an attempt to minimize the “damage.”

A family member referred to it as “damage control.”

Allow me to explain further…

I heard a minister this weekend say that people shouldn’t reveal their vices. Really?

So James 5:16 doesn’t apply? (“Therefore confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed…”) (King James Version)

Basically–“Shut up and don’t make any trouble for the perpetrator.”

This preacher said that Paul in the Bible didn’t confess his “vice” (Paul spoke of a “thorn” in his side, that some interpret as being a “vice”). That may be true, but I’m sure if Paul were to have acted on his vice, and molested someone, that he would have begged God’s forgiveness, made amends to the victim, and likely stepped down from his position in shame.

“But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints.”

Ephesians 5:3 KJV

The preacher said that the real sin is anger, and that we’re all human, and you know, humans will do what humans will do, right?

So I guess 1 Corinthians 6:18 doesn’t apply either?

“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” (KJV)

Apparently defiling the temple of the Spirit isn’t a major concern these days to some preachers. This too has been written about:

“But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.”

2 Timothy 3:13

This preacher also said that God will work out our vices, once we get our “heart” right. Okay, that’s understandable, but what if a person has supposedly “gotten their heart right” and then kept indulging their vices for a period of years, even decades? It appears that God would be working pretty slowly in their life, would it not?

“What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?”

Romans 6:1 NIV

If you’re not a Christian, bear with me here. I’m using Scripture to refute error in preachers. Where the subject of sexual molestation is being discussed–dangerous, wicked, and profoundly damaging error.

What if a person involved in sexual sin–while they’re “letting God work it out”–is damaging others? I know that in my case my actions and the actions of the adult male who led me into these actions were an assault on my marriage and family!

This is called ADULTERY! Hello!!!

And yes, I made it perfectly clear in my original post that as an adult male, I take total responsibility for what happened. But there was another adult male involved. When will THEY take total responsibility for their part?

Then I heard the preacher say in his service, that a person could be around him for years, and then start making accusations. He said, “They’ll judge you for what they THINK–with NO PROOF or anything.”

Hmmmmm…. How much proof would you like?

I can understand how people may buy that from a preacher. After all, they agree with him, like him, and therefore WANT to believe him.

But to the point of people sometimes taking a long time to come forward with an accusation, yes, that can be true.

There are reasons for that.

There can be political, monetary, or spite reasons for a person coming forward up to years later. We see situations like this often play out.

But sometimes–I can say with certainty that this played out in my case–a person will struggle with telling something because either they know the blowback they’ll get when they do (I’ll get to this in a moment)…

…or, they may go back and forth in their mind, alternately standing on what they KNOW to be true, and then doubting themselves in some way (the biggest killer of all)–choosing to believe the rationale / excuses of the perpetrator, and weighing their disclosure against some of the “good” things the perpetrator may be doing.

Perpetrators are often very convincing, and most people fear confronting them. Confronting them risks alienation from not only them, but from those around them.

This has definitely been the case with me, fearing the blowback, but the biggest struggle has been within–alternating between standing on what I know and have experienced first hand, and waffling with doubt. Thank God–even though doubt has entered my mind to this day–that I have chosen to stand on the truth.

Where have my friends gone?

Once I made my disclosure, the silence came.

Very few of my friends have come to me to talk about it. I think it’s because the implications of what I have said scare people. I understand, I’m scared too.

If what I have said is true, there are–I think–several choices for my friends:

#1: Deny it.

#2: Excuse it away, as the preacher did.

#3: Believe me and have concern; but let it go out of fear.

#4 Believe me and have concern; and talk to me to better understand the depths of the damage these kinds of secrets can have in people’s lives.

Very few have chosen #4. And again, I understand, no hard feelings.

The road less travelled is less travelled for a reason–it is not the comfortable road or the easy road–but it is the BEST one! I have been “red-pilled” in the most profound ways of late, and have had to re-examine everything I thought was true–about the world, and about myself.

We are ALL being red-pilled right now in many ways. Don’t think the “red-pilling” ends with the political or cultural. How do you think these things even happened in our lives? They have come about because of the people we have become.

Where is God?

The silence I have been experiencing also includes God–I know that He is always with me. Yet, He has been pretty silent lately, not saying a lot at the moment. And yet I trust that He is watching, and I hope–guiding me.

In the end, all of us have our own lonely road to walk. When you remove the money, and the comforts, and the Internet “followers”–we have our Creator, our conscience, and our families. And I know that most of us don’t have our entire families with us, and that’s okay.

God designed it this way, and deep down, I know it is not only sufficient–but for our benefit.

I wish you the peace I am finding by facing the truth.

Patrick Rooney is the Founder of OldSchoolUs.com. He communicates clearly and fearlessly during perilous times about natural health, success, and freedom. To reach Patrick, email him at [email protected].

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14 thoughts on “When All Goes SILENT (After Disclosing SEXUAL CRIME)”

  1. Hi Patrick,

    It was surely a difficult, very troubling and a painful thing that you had succumbed to. I am glad that you faced it and felt the shame and embarrassment and put it behind you through God’s love, mercy and grace.

    You did not have to make it public. You can if you want to. If we sin we have to see without any doubt, even though doubt will be bombarding us, that we are wrong and pray to our heavenly Father, admitting our offense with zero doubt and ask for help and for forgiveness.

    Evil will use anything to try to make us doubt that we are doing something wrong. It will not be God. He is truth.

    Was the preacher you mentioned Jesse? I listened to him last Sunday too. He said that you don’t have to admit your vices to others. He did not say you cannot. Let’s assume he is wrong for saying that. That doesn’t change anything on your situation. If he was wrong you simply see that. End of story.

    Blowback is more embarrassment. It has to be endured. If people react negatively towards you they are not your friends.

    1. Thank you, John, for your thoughtful words. Yes, I certainly agree that we must see that WE are wrong, in order to fully face our own role in evil thoughts and actions, and to move forward. I made this public for a reason: as a warning to others who may be involved in this kind of activity. To remind them that it is wrong, no matter what excuses or high-sounding reasons the perpetrator gives for encouraging this activity. As to who I am referring to in anything I’ve mentioned, I’ll leave it to the reader to draw their own conclusions.

  2. Thank you Patrick for exposing this, I know it must have been extremely difficult, to say the least.

    I do though, find much joy, ironically enough, during this difficult period, to know this was exposed to the light and you found your family there, in the light, ready to forgive. What a blessing!

    We all have just a little time on this earth, but it is what we do with that little time that determines our destination for eternity. Even if one decides to spend most of his time doing something wrong, throw God’s grace and mercy, we still have a way.

    My prayer is that the preacher finds the strength to expose his demons to the light, I know that God is there waiting to receive him and destroy those demons on his behalf, and celebrate like The Prodigal Son.

    God bless you.

    1. Beautiful letter, Malcom, thank you! You are correct in that once we face our sins, God is there waiting to heal us, and our families too. He is working a great miracle in my life, and can do the same for any wrongdoer who is willing to humble himself and accept His correction.

      1. Patrick my heart was hurt to learn that this happened during your marriage! This minister did not give a high flying damn about you or your family but totally indulging in selfishness! It was very hard to hear and process this knowing how hurt your wife and son was but so glad that your family has grown stronger and healing from this revelation.
        I am glad that you have forgiven this minister and do not wish to destroy him or his fellowship for God sees all and evil will get punished unless there is repentance.

        1. Thank you, Charles, and that is true–this man did not consider the impact his actions had on my family. And truthfully, neither did I. I absolve myself from nothing, yet I know that through true repentence for our thoughts and actions, our Father does forgive us. Somehow, out of this “dark cloud,” He is not only restoring all, but making it better than ever! “Amazing!”

          1. The difference is that you have shown and expressed true repentance.
            I surely hope that the other guy comes around and do the same and hopefully he is not committing that same evil today, God forbid!

            May God continue to bless you and family! Much love Brother..

            1. Thank you, Charles, I appreciate your support! Yes, for his own sake, I hope that he repents too, and is not continuing this activity. God bless you, my Brother (I know He is!).

          2. I concur with Rachel. “Preach it my brother from another mother!” — It is, always, sad when someone who is believed to be leading people on a Godly path is, actually, seemingly, enjoying committing one of the few sins God called an Abomination. God, also, said that some of His harshest punishment is saved for those who use HIS precious name to lead His children into evil. I am going to pray that that person will humble himself to the utmost while seeking God’s forgiveness and I will pray that God keeps him for manipulating Anyone else into corruption. Evil in a pulpit is evil indeed.

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