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Confessions of a SNOWFLAKE

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.”–Luke 6:32 (NIV)

I’ve always had a real sensitivity toward being corrected. It’s still there.

I don’t know exactly where it originally came from, and “fishing” expeditions can be tricky, so I’ll leave out the self-psychoanalyzing for the moment.

What I do know is that correction still hurts–but especially correction that is done dismissively, derisively, or impatiently. Beyond hurting, something in me HATES that correction. I never gave the “why” too much thought before, but now I see how damaging my reactions to this behavior are to myself and to those I interact with.

Most people don’t know how to tell us the truth without having some anger behind it. When we reject the correction–whether what they say has merit or not (and usually there is at least some truth in it), we are shutting down a potentially useful conversation. It could be the proverbial “teachable” moment. At the very least, we are allowing a person to vent without judging them for it.

I have found few people who don’t benefit from our patience. When I don’t react negatively (and admittedly, that’s rare), good things usually happen. In my opinion, we could save the vast majority of our relationships if we simply acted with true patience and love when attacked (BTW, most people do not even see they are attacking us when they do. And in our “snowflake” state, we tend to take everything as an attack!).

There is a real danger in puffing up and feeling “right” about any interaction. We may technically be in the right, but the feeling of being right is the killer. In that moment, we have taken the place of God–the Judge. Once we have assumed that role, our ability to be of use to our friend or adversary is nil.

Many of us–and this is a particular weakness of many Christians–get puffed up not from how many friends we have–but by how many friends and family members we have lost. We think this confers on us some kind of lofty status, since we’ve transcended the “need” for friends and family. After all, these “heathens” (in our mind) are lost, and we need to cut them off.

If this sounds harsh, it’s because it is. Of course, there are always friends or family members who we may need to separate from–for our own good or perhaps theirs. We may have to “wipe the dust off our feet” and move on to more fertile soil. Understood. But in general, we WAY overuse the “dump them” philosophy.

Trust me, if we are to separate, this should be a natural process–in the past, I have willfully cut people off, and in our reactive state of mind, it can feel perfectly right when it isn’t.

Mostly we can’t take the heat of stormy relationship, or are too locked into the view of ourselves as spiritual Crusaders. Where’s GOD in all of this? Where is the true love for our fellow human beings? (And no, true love is not just about “telling the truth”–God sees our actual intent)

“You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”–Matthew 7:5 (NIV)

We’ve already well-established our various tribes. The Internet / social media thrives on promoting these tribes and marginalizing other tribes. But there is no future in fostering continual “tribesmanship.” It only results in the splitting up of our families, communities, and nation (sometimes under the guise of uniting them). Yet focusing on the flaws of others while ignoring our own “snowflake” nature will only lead to a further fracture–both outside AND inside ourselves. It’s a guaranteed way to stay weak and unhappy.

See my recent article, Do You Still Take the Bait? for some more on this topic.

So let the snowflake melt in the light of Truth! Just allowing a little sunlight in is already beginning to help me and those I affect. One day, God willing, the snowflake melts away and only the sunlight remains!

Patrick Rooney is the Founder of OldSchoolUs.com. He promotes natural health, success, and freedom during chaotic times. To reach Patrick, email him at [email protected].

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