Last night I realized that I have some big “choices” facing me, such as where am I gonna live, what am I gonna do, who am I gonna associate with?
This morning in prayer, I realized these “choices” extend far beyond these questions… Into even as fundamental as what I will do in ANY given moment.
Even how I will pray.
For a very long time, I have said very few words during prayer. I haven’t felt the need. God already knows what is in my heart. Sometimes I do “talk” to God, just to get things off my chest as I would to a trusted friend, or to ask for something that is important to me or someone else.
I know these things are frowned on by some meditation “purists,” but I cannot concern myself with what others think I should do or not do.
And I have “chosen” to place certain emphasis on different fingers of my hand during prayer, in order to help keep my mind from wandering. I’m not saying that this is a good or bad practice (I have found value in it), but this morning I realized that I don’t want to make choices about how I pray, or for how long I will pause my attention on certain things like my fingers, etc.
I am content merely to observe as I notice my attention has wandered from my head, my hands, my body into a thought stream. There’s more freedom there.
There is no choice in observation. Just an acknowledgment of reality and of my connection or lack of connection to the Holy Spirit. I believe this is the purest form of prayer.
Learning to live as an observer is such a relief! It is in and of itself a denunciation of the idea–or shall I say, the illusion–of “choice.”
Mankind wants to be able to “choose,” but notice how much trouble we get into, and how much stress we take on by attempting to “choose” our way through life!
It constantly has us second-guessing regarding, “Have I made the RIGHT choice?”
Observing things as they are without mental judgment regarding the good or bad of things–or even without judging our reactions to things–is a welcome relief, and even something of a joy in and of itself!
It is the way that I want to live my life now (perhaps I always did and just never realized it) , and I hope that YOU find the peace you are looking for too. I firmly believe that this is a beautiful way to find it!
Patrick Rooney is the Founder of OldSchoolUs.com, which promotes natural health, success, and freedom. To reach Patrick, email him at [email protected].
This morning I just watched your video “How Meditation Works” from two years ago.
After reading this current article, I see the course of your experience deepen.
For me the meditation exercise is a key that can open the door to a new way to journey through life. You are clearly on that journey, as am I.
Our words to describe this world are very limited, but the spirit behind them does seem to strike deeply in the moment.
Feel free to contact me if you want a private discussion.
Thank you, Chuck. So glad you saw the video and read the latest piece. More so, I’m so glad you’re on this journey! Nice to run across a “fellow traveller”! Yes, I look forward to checking in with you soon.
So Pat, do you have control of your awareness or do you just sit and observe where it travels?
Wow, is THAT a good question! I don’t think anybody has complete control of this, as we all fall into daydreams, etc. without knowing it or directing it (although sometimes we go into our heads on purpose! But, for instance, in meditation, we can move our attention from finger to finger if we so choose, to keep our mind from wandering too much. Lately, I don’t seem to be able to do this much, so I tend to sit in actual stillness and just “passively” observe. My mind does tend to wander more praying this way, and yet there are other “advantages” to doing it this way. It is the way I naturally learned to meditate as a child… The Bible talks of “bringing every thought into captivity.” I don’t think that it means we “control” thought, but we can OBSERVE it. In the end, simply being aware of the way our minds tend to “run on its own” seems to be enough, whatever way a person “uses” to get there. Sorry for all the quotation marks around words. It’s just that the meanings of words are not always clear, and different people can define a word differently. I hope I at least partially answered your question. If not, feel free to respond and I’ll try again!
Me too, I believe we are not in control of our awareness, but as we stay practicing the exercise, it increases our chances for our awareness to be where it belongs, in the present moment.
Yes, agreed!
Gkad to hear… What you said is so true. Thank you, Brian
Good article I can relate to.
I’ve found, about myself, that most of the “so called” choices I’ve made in my life really boiled down to be subconscious compulsions.
There was never really any choice available when I was driven to do things because I was never the one doing the driving.
Still we operate under this illusion that we’re in charge.
Yes I agree. I only see one real choice that is to want salvation. Then the only thing is to follow the light, the silent partner. All other choices are only when we veer a bit off and believe a thought choice, then we just veer quickly back on course. Sometimes I have had to make those wrong choices to see my weaknesses and be humble, so it’s all good.