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My mother was a hypocrite.
She wasn’t a bad person. God knows she did her best with what she was given, but nevertheless, she was a hypocrite.
I harbored hatred in my heart toward her because of that, and displayed it in my speech and actions.
To this day, I still see that I am not yet over my hatred for hypocrites.
It appears I’ve transferred my hatred of my mother to hypocrites I see and know.
I say it knowing full well that no grown man should hate his mother or hate anyone, for that matter. I’m certainly not proud of it. Far from it.
It’s not something I want, but yet it is still there for some reason. I have asked God many times to remove all of my hatred. It seems I am becoming progressively free of it, but not all at once.
Perhaps I should have said, “God—please take my anger from me—all at once!” How do you try to give God a timeline, though!
Hatred is a hard word to swallow. It seems so harsh. And it is.
There are forms of hatred, a continuum–from obvious, hot hatred–to a resentment, that burns the heart a bit and otherwise stays in the background.
My mother was (as many people are) two different people—the one the neighbors saw and the one we saw. I’m not saying she was a holy terror behind closed doors. But she was not the same person. You could say that most of us fall into that category, come to think of it.
I always had more respect for my father, than for my mother. Both went to church, and typically they went separately. While my mother checked all the holy boxes, I remember going to Saturday evening church with my father (so we wouldn’t have to go on Sunday), and at “Communion” time (we were Roman Catholics), my dad would not go down to the front of the church and eat the holy wafer. Instead, he would exit the back of the church, and smoke (Camels, unfiltered).
Apparent that was his “communion.” Or “anti” communion, you might say.
I don’t know all that my dad went through in life, just as I don’t know all that my mom went through. But I do know that both had hard lives. My mother was pulled out of school early to care for her mother.
My father was a World War II vet, working on an aircraft carrier, the U.S.S. Wasp, and he saw friends killed before his eyes when Japanese Zeros divebombed their planes into the deck of the ship.
I know he had a rough upbringing too, in what we would call today a “dysfunctional” family. I’m tempted to say, “Aren’t they all?” And they are in some ways. The sins of the fathers are indeed passed—in one form or another—through all families until enlightenment can break that curse.
I did my best to confront my parents and admit the resentment I carried for them, and to let it go (forgive them), but I did it with anger in my heart still, and a meeting of forgiveness became more a meeting of complaint. Of blame.
No adult should blame his or her parents for his or her own failings.
I have had the same experiences many times before and since then in my life—I have sought confrontation to “get the truth out,” and to be free of the burden of carrying yesterday’s issues. But I have rarely succeeded, I must admit. At least not fully.
Hypocrisy in the Church
When I was in grammar school, I became an altar boy, later taking over as the head of the altar boys from my older brother. I guess that was some hypocrisy right there, because in reality, I was no altar boy!
I began to see hypocrisy in some of the priests. Later, I worked as a receptionist at the church rectory (where the priests live), and that’s when I really saw what several of them were like behind the scenes. It wasn’t pretty.
I have gone on to see shocking examples of hypocrisy—and have been that hypocrite myself.
And I still have some anger about what I’ve seen. I realized clearly this morning what it is: It angers me—not so much to see people pretending to be something they are not—but to see them getting away with it.
I was watching a Tyler Perry movie the other night, where his character, Madea (an older wild yet wise woman) was counseling another character, saying that forgiveness is tied to faith in God—in other words, if you have faith, you know that God will see that justice will ultimately be done.
It appears that I do not yet trust that God “has this.”
Perhaps this is related to not trusting that my father “had this” when I was young. He let my mother get away with a lot, and just threw up his hands, and said, “She’s the boss!”
“She’s the boss?” Every father should be the boss in the family!
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.Ephesians 5:23 KJV
Giving it to God
I told the story in a previous post about being molested by a friend when I was a boy. It had filled me with shame for many, many years. I saw this friend years later when I had to move back for a time into my parents’ home. He still lived in the old neighborhood.
My friend was in the hospital—he had, I was told, cancer in his testicles. I decided to finally confront him about what had happened between us years ago. So I drove to the hospital, saw him in the room and brought up the incident. I wasn’t hostile, I just wanted to finally face the humiliation and be done with it. Perhaps I felt some sympathy for him too.
I told the friend that I forgave him. I knew his background. I knew that his father used to beat him after his father had been drinking. I knew his father kept pornography in his home, which my friend had brought out, leading to the incident.
When I brought up the incident with my friend, he got uncomfortable, and said he needed to sleep. I’d said what I’d needed to say, and left. Some time later, once I’d moved back out of my parents’ home, I found out he’d died. I couldn’t help but remember that Bible passage:
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the LordRomans 12:19 NIV
There is a time to confront, once (or more, perhaps, if necessary), and then it’s time to let it go, and give it to God. I was able to let the trauma and humiliation with my friend go, but there are other things I have not let go.
Why could I let go of one but not the other?
“Getting Away With It”
Perhaps it’s because my friend was not a hypocrite. He was just a kid messed up by his parents. It is when I’ve been wronged by hypocrites that I’ve stumbled. There’s something about the appearance that a hypocrite gets away with it. That they can fool so many people into thinking they are good, or even great.
I’ve also noticed that the hypocrite is at heart a copier–they are actors who know how to play a part. They can even steal the work of others, change it a bit, and take credit for a “fresh” insight.
This is what I must overcome—I must be willing, in some cases, to let them “get away with it,” as long as I have no knowledge that they are hurting people now. And perhaps, that the good they promote may outweigh their bad deeds. That’s not my call. I must be willing to believe, that however successful they may be at fooling people, that God will ultimately not let them “get away with it.”
But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.2 Timothy 3:13
This same principle is at work in every part of our lives. In the world of politics, every day we see that a certain class of people are allowed to “get away with it” (i.e.: the Clintons and other Swamp members, etc.).
For instance, I hated Obama for years because from early on, I saw that he was an evil man who was fooling so many people, particularly black people, who thought—and incredibly still do—that he was wonderful.
Many blacks truly believe that the only reason Obama didn’t follow through and actually make their lives better, was because “the Republicans wouldn’t let him.” It didn’t matter that Obama had the House and Senate on his side for the first two years of his administration.
They don’t see that this man sowed the seeds of destruction for the United States of America in just about everything he touched.
I’m reading a book, as I’ve mentioned before, called “The Antichrist: How to Identify the Coming Imposter” by Pastor Charles Crismier. I’m learning things I never knew, particularly regarding history. (Note: I make no income from this link).
Many “Antichrists” have already come and gone, but the Bible speaks—in prophetic books like Daniel and Revelations–of a “final” Antichrist who will he the ultimate hypocrite. He will fool the world into believing he is good (and great), when he will be the very image of evil on earth.
Who knows. If I were a betting man, I might still give even odds on Obama in this competition!
You could say that the psychopath is in some ways more “respectable” than the sociopath, who is the same inside as the psychopath, but who pretends to be good.
Nobody likes to be lied to—once they know they’re being lied to, of course!
It’s telling that there are warnings throughout the New Testament about “false prophets.” Jesus himself said, “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.” (Matthew 7:15).
So it’s critical that we keep watch for hypocrites, particularly in the “Church.” They are everywhere. But it’s even more critical (for the sake of our eternal souls) that we do not hate these hypocrites. Christ’s message was and is about repentance, forgiveness, and love. He wants us to be at peace, and to experience that joy. I do believe that.
Jesus spoke out about hypocrites many times, including…
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanliness.Matthew 23:27
…But he wants our joy to be complete…
These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.John 15:11 KJV
I pray that God will remove all hatred from me, and now I’m adding that I hope that he does it SOON! (Hey, I can ask!)
I hope and pray that He does this for you too, if you desire to overcome your anger.
We live in trying times. The end times have been prophesized by Jesus, his disciples, and others too. Short of a miracle, I believe that we have entered these times. Looking at the news and observing the world daily, it’s not hard to believe that.
Mankind has proven weak and lacking in faith. I am part of this, and can make no claim to obedience—I only hope for mercy when I am judged.
It’s time to get our house in order—for the possible end of this age, for eternity, or to live many, many years on this earth as it is. Because however we are to live—I know it will be that much better with Christ’s joy in our hearts!
Patrick Rooney is the Founder of OldSchoolUs.com. He communicates clearly and fearlessly during perilous times about natural health, success, and freedom. To reach Patrick, email him at [email protected]. To Support the critical work of Old School, go HERE or to Patrick’s SubscribeStar page HERE.