I could have easily titled this piece, “CONFESSIONS of a Spiritual Drama Queen,” but perhaps that would have been a bit too dramatic!
I don’t know where I picked up this trait, but I have always had a penchant for the dramatic. Perhaps it’s a cry for the attention I naturally craved from my father and did not receive. Few people do receive the attention they need from their fathers.
My penchant for the dramatic found its way into my spiritual search as well. I sought BIG results–white light experiences, cathartic dumps of sin in an attempt to be somehow “free,” the seeking out of gurus who hopefully could utter that one word that would unlock the key and finally hand me the “freedom” I sought.
I realized this morning, more clearly than ever, that God doesn’t work the way we think He does.
In the dark quiet of the the early morning, He provides a gentle Spirit. It is almost imperceptible. He doesn’t push. He doesn’t attempt to bowl us over with a powerfully constructed argument. He doesn’t yell at us. And He doesn’t necessarily cause a dramatic change all at once.
He’s just there with us, gently but gently, and slowly but slowly molding us into the man or woman we should be. Perhaps it could be said that He is safely guiding us back to our “factory settings.”
He is also slowly providing us with the patience to be able to accept and perhaps even embrace the slow change. To not have to seek the “instant coffee” of immediate “enlightenment” (whatever THAT means!).
We have all heard stories of people who have either experienced some form of immediate spiritual freedom, or claim that they have. Judging by the lack of great examples in the world, immediate enlightenment does not appear to be common. Certainly my own journey has not been like that at all. And it is a HUGE mistake to look to any other human being as a guide to how fast your own spirit should unfold.
My advice here based on a lifetime of drama: Just be willing to LET it unfold in its own time.