“How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that SPLINTER from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in YOUR OWN eye?”
–Matthew 7:5 (New American Bible)
I have struggled of late with someone emotionally close to me–we often don’t see eye to eye, and they are prone to cut me with their words. I have mistreated them in the past, and they have found it hard to let that go.
It is often easier (of course) not to get emotionally involved with people we don’t know as well, and therefore to be more objective–to respond without elements of fear and anger.
I’ve begun to realize what a blessing it is to see these flaws in myself. I believe this is what it means to be “tested in the fire”–the fire of others’ and our own emotions.
This kind of “in your face” revelation has humbled me. I now realize that it is ridiculous to judge others for their shortcomings, when all my judgment has accomplished is causing me to resent others, rendering me no better than them.
I believe this realization is the first step toward becoming a useful friend.
Judgment Society
We have become a “judgment society”–existing comfortably inside our own judgment cocoon. Looking down at all the wrongdoing we see around us, and even looking down on every group or person who dares to disagree with us. It could be politics, or religion, culture, or even judging those who choose a different diet than we do!
Jesus’ question of “How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the SPLINTER from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in YOUR OWN eye?” cuts to the quick of what is wrong with EACH ONE of us.
It’s been said that, “You can solve OTHER people’s problems, but not your own.” And that is largely true. Unless we’re REALLY paying attention, our default mode is to look OUT at others, but not pay attention to OURSELVES. I believe the reason for this is very deep–deeper than we naturally want to go.
We have an IDEA of who we are, and it is either an “airbrushed” picture–minimizing our flaws, so that we can favorably compare ourself with others and therefore judge them unworthy; or perhaps an exaggerated picture–blowing up those flaws in ourselves to stoke our self judgment.
Either way, Satan wins.
The great psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness in other people.” This is wisdom. And really, I believe this is the only way we can help ourselves and those around us.
The world is hurting big time. Perhaps like never before. Not everyone wants our help, but some do. And if we can see them as another flawed human being like ourselves, then perhaps we can be of help to them. Otherwise, we will wipe each other out while feeling “safe” in our illusion of “winning one for our tribe.”
Two distinct paths are set before us. I pray we will see and walk the one that leads to life.

Patrick Rooney is the Founder of OldSchoolUs.com. He communicates clearly during challenging times about natural health, success, and freedom. To reach Patrick, email him at [email protected].
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